I went to meet Nepal’s dumbest sports official (NDSO) the other day. I didn’t know he was NDSO until this meeting with him. I had briefly met him in the past, but never long enough to really formulate an opinion on him. After this meeting however, I am convinced the guy must truly be NDSO. Here’s the story:
I called NDSO to arrange a meeting as I wanted to discuss a few issues with him regarding his sport. NDSO was thrilled to receive my call and told me that he was anxious to meet as there were lots of pressing things he needed to discuss with me. I was therefore a bit dumbfounded that NDSO was not at his office at the time we had agreed to see each other.
I called NDSO’s mobile and he said he was “just down the street” and would come pick me up within 5 minutes. Thirty minutes later NDSO finally arrived in his motorbike, without a helmet on (which is against the law in Nepal). We then rode down the street to his second office I guess - a local drinking establishment.
At the hotel NDSO introduced me to some of his “pals”. It was only 10 in the morning and his buddies were already hitting the moonshine. I was offered some breakfast - Whiskey on the rocks - which I kindly declined.
For ten minutes NDSO and his friends talked amongst themselves about various topics unrelated to sports, completely ignoring me. It was as though NDSO forgot that I was there. Feeling neglected, I finally asked NDSO if we could go to another room and talk in private as I had a few things I needed to discuss with him. “Oh yeah, of course – sure, why not,” was his reply and we proceeded to an adjacent room.
I first asked NDSO if he had received the sports equipment I had sent him some time ago. He scratched his head for a moment, then acknowledged receiving the equipment but pointed out that he was not exactly sure where he put it, but that it was in good hands.
NDSO then started rambling-on about how many of the people I am working with in Nepali sports are incompetent, unprofessional and corrupt. He suggested that I should work with him more closely as he is far more honest, hardworking and cutting edge than the rest.
I politely told him “Let me think about it” and asked NDSO to give me his email address so we could stay in touch. He told me because he was so busy he did not have time create an email account and that I should just call him on his mobile whenever I needed to get in touch with him.
During our talk NDSO’s mobile kept ringing. It turns out he had scheduled an executive committee meeting for his sport at the exact same time as our appointment. Seeing he was in a difficult position, I told NDSO that I had to go and that I would stay in touch with him.
NDSO started whining about how I never make time for him and that we never have had a chance to properly sit down and talk. He continued to ramble-on – mentioning how he had great vision, networks and determination and could do wonders for Nepali sports, but was simply limited because of the lack of money. He then proceeded to pay the bill for the breakfast gathering which was around 3000 Rupees!
The meeting was over and visions of Jim Carrey came to my mind.
